Women, because .....Women!

Women, women, wooooommmeeennnn!!!

@GaryVee gets an honorary mention, we giggle, we talk raising Black boys in America,  Child Q, duct tape, systemic roadblocks, and blended families!

In honor of #IWD, I talk to Danielle, a woman for other woman. She drives, she supports, she lifts other women….because women!

An avid gamer, never far from her cosplay society, Danielle uses gaming to connect, to raise her kids and to build a community.

Women who support other women, who help lift, who contribute to the successes of other women,  are themselves, more successful.

Follow Danielle Meadows-Stinnett and Octane @octanedesigns across IG, Facebook & Twitter.

Follow Nina @ninaatimah and her journey to build skincare equity @ www.voueeskin.com!

Transcript

Hey y'all. Welcome back to the Every Shade Podcast. Today we're doing things a little bit differently to celebrate International Women's Day because, well, women. And so this is for every woman in your life who fed you, closed you, woke you up for school, cut your hair, gave you her last bit of money to get an ice lolly, walked you to school, prayed for you, worked three jobs so you wouldn't have to, defended you, moved houses so you could get into a better school, did battle for you, pushed you, encouraged you, supported you, protected you, sidelined her dreams for you, took a backseat again so you could shine. Loved you when you couldn't even love yourself. For that woman. This is Every Shade. 

Look at me. Mommy. I'm strong. I'm beautiful. I'm black.

I’m strong, I'm beautiful. I'm black.

Nina: Welcome to the Every Shade Podcast, Danielle, actually, no wait. Let me call you by your full government name, seeing as we're doing this properly. Danielle Meadows Stinnet. Did I get that right? 

Danielle: You did fantastic. 

Nina: All you fancy double barrel name people. I have a little bit of a confession. When we first connected, I basically stalked you online for a little bit, like full transparency, not like an awkwardly long amount of time.

I think it was like an appropriate amount of stocking time and, and because I found your, your background soap bewildering, right? I read your bio and I thought, Who is this woman and how the heck does she fit it all in? Right? So immediately I got a notepad and I started to write all the things I was gonna do, the books I was gonna read, the courses I was gonna take.

I had this fomo basically, after reading your bio, and it happens all the time, I meet somebody who is like super impressive, who's packing it all in and still managing to keep it together. And then I start making lists, you know? But before we get into your bio and the 800 things it is that you do, how are you feeling this morning?

Danielle: I feel pretty good. Pretty energetic today. Yeah. , 

Nina: You got that green, green juice energy, that's what I call it. That green juice that's promised. Blend some, some spinach and something and all of a sudden you got all this energy. Okay, so the awesome bio, it is that I read the one that made me go, Nina, we gotta do better.

Nina: Danielle runs a branding and identity firm that is minority owned and women led across five countries. She's a podcaster, she's a wife. She's a mama of three lively boys between the ages of two and 16. Blended family advocate, we're gonna get into that one. A lover of rustic Italian cuisine, chai tea, comics, cosplay, star Trek, Picard, and Live MMA.

She is a developer, a curator. She runs a number of online workshops and courses, and you have a creative community that you run as well. So obviously my first question is, how many clones do you have and do you name them sequentially or do you have random names like Apple and 

Sunflower?

Danielle: I do not, but I do love the fact that. if I did have a clone, I would totally name him like Alexander or something and refer to it as, same thing as Sherri and Grio. Like I would, I would love to have my own grio. 

Nina:You would just give them proper names. You wouldn't just go 1, 2, 1, 0, 1, 4, 5, like, which is what I would do. I'd be like, so I can remember which one you are. I need to give you a sequential name. But though, seriously, because I read your bio when I thought, how the hell do you ram all that stuff in? How is life even possible with everything it is that you. 

Danielle: It's sequential, like in accidental and trial and error.

That's where a lot of it comes from, I didn't just wake up one day and be like, you know what? I'm gonna do these fifteen things. It really started as one or two small things. Yeah. And then it grew to, okay, I can do two things. I can take on three, I could take on five. And then it just kind of grew from there.

Now I've definitely reached a little bit of a plateau as I kind of focused more.  on, you know, growing small humans. But at the same time, I love the fact that I've been able to build something from nothing. Yeah. And I think that is what is a true display of what we can do together. 

Nina: That's amazing. So, I know I've obviously missed out bits of your bio, but if you had to talk to me about sort of the, the chunkiest bits of your day, like describing yourself, how, how would you describe yourself?

Danielle: Oh, my, human first. I think that's kind of how, and that's how I have to kind of explain to my kids who are coming from multiple different backgrounds and ethnicities. I have to say at the end of the day, I'm human first, and then on top of that, I'm everything else, and I think for raising, when you're raising kids, especially men, boys, to become men, I think it's really important that we see each other more equally on that plateau first.

Nina: Yeah.

Danielle: And then we can start bringing in all the other societal stuff, that comes along with it. That's kind of really what I focus on every day. Wake up being a good human. What, what can I do today? 

Nina: That's amazing. And I love, I love that. That's what you're trying to instil in your children. Because to be perfectly honest, I think if more people did that, then the streets would be a lot safer.

Uh, but back to the point though, like, you're trying to be humble and I'm not gonna let you get away with it. Right. So, there's a ton of stuff it is that you're doing. So what I wanna know is, you're saying you, it came on a little bit at a time. You assessed this, you assessed that. So when all these things are coming and you're taking on a new course or you're taking on a new business, is there a part of you that is like, what the heck we are doing?

Like, is there a part of you that has a little bit of panic goes, but seriously though we already have a lot of spinning plates? Are you, are you mortal basically is what I'm asking. 

Danielle: Very much so, very, very mortal.  I think it's what has really enabled me to figure out what works and what doesn't work .Yeah.

It is my ability to pivot for a lot of people on an average basis. Pivoting takes either years, months, or things to do. I pivot very quickly. Okay. In a short amount of time. I can guesstimate based upon my experience in doing what I've been doing for such a long time as to whether or not there's longevity in it and whether or not to drop it entirely.

So I feel like for me, it's easier for me to pivot and slide back and forth and figure out what is functional, what is doable, so that I can spend more time and more energy create the things that I know are going to be, a focal point that I know is going to be successful or fruitful. 

Nina: Okay. And when you have to drop things, there's no sort of emotional attachment of, you know, you're kind of going back and forth in your head.nYou just drop it and you keep on moving. 

Danielle: Oh man. Yeah, total Gary Vee moment. Like I will drop it like a tip of a hat and be like, okay, let's go, and it's not a matter of , it's not a matter of whether or not I created it. It's, it's a matter of will it sustain? Yeah. Is it sustaining me? Is it someone else? If it's not doing any of those things, yeah.

and I think that's something that I continually have gotten better at over the years is understanding that core development. If it's there, it's there. It's kinda like when we talk about, you know, the soul of a person. If the soul is there, then we can build upon it. We can continue to mould it.

But if it's not there, if that fire, that spark isn't there, then why are we harvesting it? Let's, let's move on to the next thing. Let's put that energy towards, something else. 

Nina: I think, you know, like a lot of people, when they have an idea or they start something, the thing is like your baby, right? And then it's, you know, people throw lots of good money, after bad money.

It literally is like your baby. And you're, you're thinking to yourself, well, if I only did this and if I only, you know, shoved a little bit more money at it, or spend a little bit more time, maybe it could resurrect it somehow. And it usually takes a complete disaster before somebody actually walks away from something.

But it's usually quite the case of, you know what, this is my baby, this is my idea. Or it's my first one or my second one, and I, and I really can't let it go. So I, kind of get that feeling. So I think you have a little bit of a blessing that you're able to kind of just cut and be like, let's keep it moving.

This, this thing is done now, so I wanna know, let's go to your childhood, because this is where all the right decisions are made. Right. So the obvious question is what, what are the things it is that went right in your childhood? Like what's the story? What did your parents do? Right? Basically when they raised you.

Danielle: Oh man. I mean, just being present I think is one . They were there. They helped make me so, I mean, I appreciate that,  I think for me growing up, also in a very small town, yeah, small, very white, non-minority town helped me better establish my strengths in being different. Yeah. And I have no problem in kind of stepping out into my own if I'm wearing Chucks and, uh, chucks and a skirt, or if I'm going to, you know, run all out in a Wakanda cosplay the next day.

Oh, it's, I definitely have come across this rhythm in my life where it is. Okay. And actually there's strength, in being yourself in whatever way or shape or form that you need to identify that as. So, uh, growing up definitely had pretty large family. I'm a third generation entrepreneur, I come, my mother's one of nine, my dad's one of 13.

I grew up in large groups and communities that self sustained itself. Yeah. Uh, working from within and asking for a lot of women who are coming from large families, that can be offsetting , but it can also be later on in life. Those foundational steps that help you navigate through life a little bit easier.

And so that's kind of the case for me. I kind of grew up resenting. I have all these cousins, I have all these aunts, I have all these people. And now, you know, as an adult I'm like, no, actually these are the things, they set a path for me that I didn't even realize they were setting a path forward a hundred percent, through their decisions and through their faults, I'm able to learn through them. And so that representation completely matters. And, uh, that's kind of what's given me the strength to keep doing what I'm doing now. No, 

Nina: I think that's  amazing. I think the big family thing, cuz I, I don't necessarily come from a huge family, but I, I've been very envious of people who come from that sort of thing where they have a family reunion and it's like a hundred people. I think if we had a family reunion, it'd be, I don't even think we'd get 15, you know, and most people wouldn't. Even rsv you know, that's what it would be like. It would be cold. So, no, I think it's absolutely amazing. And there's a couple of things that is, you said this, so the first thing you said was cosplay.

So we're gonna get into that. So tell me what was the last Thing or person? It is. You dressed up as, where was it? What was it? PG 13 obviously, because this is a family show. Share . 

Danielle: Okay. So it was Oko. So I definitely did, Wakanda. That was my last big one that I did. Okay. The next one I'm doing actually is kind of focus on Star Wars.

If anyone's a big fan of Obi one Kenobi - that I will be doing, Moses Ingram's., so Reva commander, if anyone knows who that is, if you're in listening range, I am definitely, me and Moses are going together, 

Nina: Do you put all your stuff together by yourself, how, how does it all happen because you're, you're part of a community that does this, obviously, right?

Danielle: Yes, absolutely. I'm a part of the ORs, which is the Ohio Ripper Valley Cosplayer and Prop Builders Group, proud member. And I love the fact that our community can get together, and celebrate being ourselves and whatever costume or cosplay we wanna be in. So I do piecemeal.

Yeah. sometimes I'm playing. Playing with craft foam. My astronaut helmet that I use occasionally. one of my last cosplays was Hippolyta from Lovecraft Country. I decided to, really create Hippolyta as the woman in space, right. the explorer, the discoverer, and that is so much my soul as a, as a parent.

I related to her story so much because she felt so small, even though the things that she was doing was exponential. And that's exactly how I felt in that moment by watching Lovecraft country, if anyone's a fan. so I decided to recreate that by putting on my own spacesuit and recreating my own hippolyta.

And that was really fun, and I made that literally from Acrylic. lots of, uh, lots of fine scissoring,  and craft foam and spandex. 

Nina:   I was gonna say, there's, there has to be spandex, there has to be polyester, there has to be crazy glue. These, these are like the core things and a little bit of duct tape and maybe some Vaseline, you know, this is, these are the core things you need to put anything.

Nina: But this is why I was saying to you like, I don't understand how you can do all this and fit all this stuff in so there's, there's one thing I wanna touch. And you have to come to Asia because cosplay is big here, obviously. So at some point in time you need to bring all of that over here. But you talked about how you're using gaming and cosplay with the kids, and when we spoke before, I remember you saying that gaming was a big part of, you know, how you're raising the boys.

Nina:So tell me, how do you mix those two things together? Gaming, parenting, aside from, you know, sitting there and playing foosball. Like how does it, what does it actively  look like?

Danielle: Sure. So as my son would say, our family's weird., I think it's really interesting that as we talk about, putting together these elements of our lives, I've been able to put together things that I love the most and fuel it into my parenting.

So I really enjoy the fact that even though we, all of us love gaming, we're the family that, you know, Fortnite will game. The cool board games. I'm a retro gamer myself. I love being able to play all the old school board games, and so I use that strategy of getting ahead in the game to apply it in real steps in life.

And to help them get ahead in life. And so that's actually bled so much into my business. Why not bleed it into the rest of the makeup of our family. And it really has become a foundational point, for all of us to find a way, an element of play, find a way, to solve difficult problems, how to navigate emotionally through things that can be a little bit, triggering or traumatic even, in a lot of areas of life.

Literally teaching my children the foundational blocks so that they can learn how to play on their own. 

Nina: You have to write a ‘how to guide’. I told you this one. We had the conversation that, you know, monopoly was, was the game in our house, the one it is that, you know, just shuts everything down at Christmas.

I wanna talk sort of broadly and and wider about everything it is you do. So graphic design, the web design, the gaming, which historically hasn't been a space in which it is. There've been a plethora of, uh, black women. You know, the whole thing has been like, the good, the bad, the, you know, the smells like last week's milk.

How has it all been, you know, being in that space? Has it been a strength? Have, have there been challenges? You know, just, yeah,  share. 

Danielle: Oh my gosh. I mean that's, we could be here for a while. So, the, some of the challenges that I've come across, obviously, just being a minority in general. Yeah. Being a minority in America, being a minority in tech, that is always an area where it's kind of a gray line.

We don't know whether or not to, to keep pushing forward or to just stay stagnant where we are. Mm-hmm. And what's has really helped me navigate through the space, it's just being confident in the skin that I am in. so that's something too that , I, I joke even just recently, like, uh, I, I get, you know, because of the way that I have grown up and the way that I appear, I get a lot of, you know, we get a lot of slander statements all the time, so, you know, women and skirts. you know, are not as equivalent to men and pants in some areas, so we, that stigma is still there, even though technically we keep white labeling it as, no, we're for everybody. Yeah. But really deep down, there's still those. , those in those in very heavy roots of men being more, uh, being more or greater than in some areas than women.

And I, I actually hate putting fire to that because I don't even wanna give it oxygen. Yeah. But it's one of the situations where we have to address it in order to overcome it. And that's with anything in life. . 

Nina: Yeah, I like that point. Like we have to address it. You don't want it to become the thing, this huge mountain in terms of, you know, you achieving what it is you have to achieve.

But we can't pretend it's not there because we have to hack away at it just for everybody else who's coming up. Not just in tech. It's not just in gaming. It's in a lot of industries and, and the more senior it is, you get you see it perpetuating. So there's a long way to go. . But I, I think for me, it's back to that point about representation, right?

So seeing somebody like you who is their authentic self, you haven't had to change who it is you are to try and fit in into a particular stereotype. You wear what the hell it is you wanna wear, you do your hair, however the hell it is. You want, you show up every single time. You're knocking it out of the park, you're loving what it is you're doing.

So I think it's just for somebody who is even, you know, five, six who's sitting down and seeing that sort of example. That's it. Right. That's really what it is. We need that.

Danielle: Absolutely. Yeah. I recently just spoke to an elementary group of kids and I thought for a second I was gonna be that oddball. Right? When you walk in, everyone else is in  a tux and a suit or a business, something.

And I'm just here in my pencil skirt and my, sonic the hedgehog t-shirt  and I am just sitting in front of these kids and as soon as I mentioned gaming, they lit up like Christmas trees and I think it was so interesting. That love language is universal, that gaming can be universal. It's not just for the the 35 and the 40 year old kids.

It's also for the five and the six and the 10 and the 12 year old kids, and that it can really climb some borders and can really transcend some walls. So, I received a whole stack full of thankful thank you cards from these kids for Black History Month. I was so thankful, many of them said that my presentation was the best one out of all the ones they had.

Nina: You kind of cheated. Somebody else would go up in there and be, well, I'm a lawyer. You rocked up with gaming.  The person who 

went after you must have just been like, damn it.

She, she came up with gaming and I'm talking about I'm, you know, I'm an accountant, like, so No, you, you, one hundred percent cheated. You know, you went and killed it. 

So don't even try and be shy here.. 

No, but I love what you say in terms of, it just connects us in many different ways.

Nina: So I have friends who are like in their thirties and their forties, and they'll play these. Community games where they'll, they'll be like a nine year old and they'll be on the audio and it's just absolutely hilarious. And for me it's like music. I, I think that music is the other thing that connects us where there's a beat and somebody could be sad all the way in Korea, somebody else in Kenya or something, and then that beat people hear that music and you're just, you know, you feel it.

So I think there's that potential there. I know that there's a lot of negativity out there on, you know, on the web, but there is that power there to really just connect us beyond the things it is. Previously divided us, right? Okay. Yes. Let's change tact a little bit. I wanna talk about your boys. So you're raising three black boys.

I've got a friend in Atlanta. Actually, he's a surgeon and he's doing pretty much the same thing it is you were doing. He said to me a number of times that it's literally the hardest job he's ever had in his life, and I think it includes a stint as a fry cook raising. Raising, three black boys in America because he has to have these discussions with them that he's sure his colleagues don't have to have with their kids, right? Yes. So I always have time and respect for anyone who's raising a black or a brown man, uh, specifically in America, but you know, anywhere that's not majority black or brown. And, and, you know, you are doing this mm-hmm  in a blended family as you described.

So talk to me a little bit more broadly around what is top of your mind as you're raising your sons to be me in America.  

Danielle: Yeah, absolutely. There's a lot of, ooh, there's a lot of, of stigma. There's a lot of mental health. There's a lot of, one-on-one conversation, there's a lot of things that are closed doors.

Uh, and I feel like too, that's the part where I feel like as a parent, it's my job and my, my foundation as a teacher. Not just as a steward to parent aggressively, but as a steward of the world like this is my duty to bring this to your attention., so in a lot of areas that can be, uh, gosh, when, especially during some of the heightened areas of the Black Lives Matter,  movement.

Danielle:  It was very difficult to have some of those conversations with my kids, but I knew that if I didn't have those conversations, they, that continued stigma of them not being aware,would be filled in by other people and things and places that did not need to be. And so that was really important for me, especially for my, at that time my youngest, Ellington.

Danielle: he definitely has this huge, empathetic soul and so when he's seeing me cry because I'm seeing what's happening in the news. I have to break both that down for myself, but also break that down for him. Yeah. so that he understands that he's in a safe place. For my oldest who's a little bit more atypical, it's more of a, this happened because that happened and it didn't, it wasn't a matter of he got what he deserved. It was, it's just unjust because it just lives in the world. And that was something that also made me kind of trigger like really hard or knee jerk really hard, in some areas where, what am I saying to my kids around these topics? What else can I say?

Yeah., to my kids around these topics and how can I empower them and educate them and when they feel, as if they are, their power is being shrunk or, taken down in some fashion. 

Nina: Yeah, it blows my mind, right, because I remember what I went through specifically being in Asia when everything kicked off, uh, after the murder of George Floyd.

And I didn't realize for a couple of days, but I was literally in mourning. And then something was happening to me mentally, emotionally, and I had no idea what it was up until I got in with a group of people who I was then able to.  share that with, then I realized, for, for the last couple of days, I'd literally been in, in mourning.

Nina: And that's what, what was happening. So my, it felt like my soul was dying. And to think that children are having to experience that and maybe they don't necessarily have the words to express how it is they're feeling, but the parent is processing it, and then the child has to go through it themselves and you know, you're trying to safeguard your kids.

Nina: I personally think parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world. Right? Because for everything else, you can technically quit, right? For the most part. You can be like, yeah, thank you. Put my check in the mail. This love affair is over, I'm gone. Right? But you're a parent. Everything that happens to your child. So, every anxiety, every worry, every fear, every personal attack on them is basically a small hernia for you or a mild stroke. And I remember last year, the summer in the UK, there was a lot of conversation around the safety of UK schools for Black children and there was one particular incident, child Q a 15 year old girl who basically gets pulled aside and strip searched by police officers without any adults there.

And I thought to myself, I remember when it happened. I don't think I could do it y'all, because I would be in jail. Like as a parent, you know, in terms of, you know, trying to provide that safe space. So like I always have time for anyone who's taking the time to try and do a good job to actually raise their kids in this crazy world in which it is we live in.

So, you know, you and your blended family, which you'll tell me about in a second, making it work, I think, you know. Kudos to you. 

Danielle:  Yeah. U, thank you. I'll take the compliment. I'll take them every day. 

Nina:  No, no. It, I mean, it's, I think it's, it's, we don't talk about it enough, right? So we talk about a lot of things, in, you know, around raising kids but I think that bit about their mental health, especially in the Black and Brown community where, historically we haven't always talked about mental health. But now trying to safeguard that from early on and trying to prevent some of the traumas it is that we went through in our kids.

Yeah. Hands up. So, talk to me about a blended family. What is a blended family for the uninformed amongst us?

Danielle:  Well, it's when you're, I mean, it's really when you co-parent, you co-share, a child or children that are not necessarily, that are in beyond just your home, that are not just a part of your home, but other people's homes and other people's families.

So, all two of my three children are a part of blended families, meaning they have other siblings, other parents, other extensions of their family that are not in their everyday lives, living with them at home. So I love the fact that I get to be a little bit of a steward, uh, to them. About what it's like to share.

Danielle: And I remember when my kids were little and they were like, you know, kind of kicking, screaming a little bit, going back and forth and really kind of getting adjusted to that transition. These were decisions that I knew early on I was gonna have to make. And so it was really important for me to understand and establish like, this is home, but you also can go to this other home and it's just as safe or as comfortable as you want it to want it to be.

Yeah. So I really encourage also on my end, this kind of element of teaching. I love the fact also that we were the stewards that had to showcase what that looked like, not only to our kids, but our kids had to learn to be good stewards to showcase what it's. For these other families to also be as embracive and loving of our child.

Nina: So talk to me. Are the rules the same in every house? 

Danielle: Uh, no. and that is always, uh, there's always this area of reprogramming that happens in between breaks and what not when we travel back and forth. I'm thankful that, I'm also juggling this from two different perspectives. I have one child that goes for longer breaks, but, few times a year and then I have a child that goes like every two weeks back and forth. So it's a little bit different dynamic,, in understanding the blended complexities of co-parenting. I have parents that are adamant about, you know, having things a certain way, thinking a certain way and having a certain, certain type of mythology, to their process, whereas others are just kind of free for all and it's kind of wherever you get in, you fit in And I have, you know, I have other children in that sort of field too, so I understand that dynamic quite a bit. but for me it's always coming back to what is in the best interest of this particular child. Of this child. Yeah., so for Ellington it's anime and pizza and gaming, and for my oldest son Miles, it's definitely Minecraft and comics and being able to be still.

So, being able to understand the dynamics of each child has taught me how to be a better individual person to other people in the world taught everything from Neurodivergency to, just understanding and, and understanding the complexities and the appreciation of honoring each child's Ethnic background, like all of those type of things are all melting pot moments for me where I can learn, I can adapt and I can teach from.

Nina: Danielle, you're trying to run a scam. See what you're trying to do here, and I'm gonna call you out because you're putting it out there like, raising kids. You know? I mean, look, it's just this whole fulfilling, and I can also just make it all happen and I'm, you know, teaching and I'm learning from it.

It's just all so beautiful and free. I'm like, I know some parents who have pulled their hair out cause they just gonna be like, what?

Danielle: Guilty. 

Nina: Everybody's out there to be like, you know what, I'm ready to have one right this minute. You're talking about those bits in between way. You're like, Jesus Christ, why did I do this?

Danielle:  Oh my gosh. Yeah. There are definitely more good days than bad days, but I really appreciate the ones where even when it's a a rough day, at the end of the day we go back to those basic elements. At the end of the day, I just wanna help you be a better human. I wanna help teach you to be a better human.

Yeah. So all those type of things are empathetic feels that we feel past the anxiety, past the anger and the frustration past, you know, a lot of these moments where we feel like we are. You know, to our, to our bare elements. So I definitely wanna, you know, employ that. Not every day is perfect, but in the moments when they're not perfect, they're still good.

That comes from it.

Nina: Yeah. And I think you've got the right tools, right? So you, you're using gaming, you are super in, in that digital space, so you speak their language, right? So this is already, you're, you're leg up, right? You speak their language as opposed to, I think a number of parents who may not have the same background or who are not as informed and they feel that they're in a completely different, you know, it's like a twilight zone versus, the, the environment that their kids are growing up in. Okay. So let's switch gears one more time. Uh, you're a third generation entrepreneur, so this, this thing is in your blood, right?

So you've been doing this for a minute now you can technically argue, you know, you know how it's turned out, ditching nine to five, running your own business. Talk to me about some of the things, I suppose growing up with that back.  that gave you the energy and the force, the life force to be able to go in and start your own businesses?

Danielle: Oh man. I think it's definitely coming from a place of, this kind of ancestral passing down baton kind of feel. Hmm. Which is what I tried to do always with, Octane as far as teaching is concerned. So, um, being a third generation entrepreneur taught me that the people before me had less than what I had and still was able to be successful.

Danielle: They had less resources, they had less opportunity, they had less money, somehow. They were able to successfully raise 13 kids, 13 plus kids. Sometimes I have to think about that and I'm like, wow, that's why my uncle turned out that way. Or Wow, that's why my aunt is that way, because I understand, the passing of that time and what that means.

So I also kind of equate it too. You know, the generations before me with my ancestors being able to wade waters and past that were unknown to them, but they were doing it because they knew what was on the other side of fear. And I feel like that is something that is always a teachable lesson for me to, to grow from in and out and around.

Being able to see that representation again, from my aunts and my uncles, from my grandparents, yeah, who were able to do a lot less. , but somehow made it work, I think is in a testament, a huge testament to what we can do now with the minimal resources that we have. This is true,in 2023. 

Nina: Yeah And I think, to be honest, we, we honestly underestimate just how much we have at our disposal, right? When you, you have to stop and take a pause and really think about the things that other people achieved in the time zones, right? What, in terms of what it is they had, what resources they had available to them.

Literally, now you can sit in a small, tiny room somewhere and launch a business. You don't even have to go outside. You can start anything right where, you know, where you had people who had to literally get on a boat, get in a car, drive, take a train, fly somewhere, test the products out, get it, you know, all of these things.

And so that's actually quite encouraging. So thank you very much for reminding me of that in the whole entrepreneurship journey. Has there been anything at all that has disappointed you? 

Danielle:Oh man, 

 Nina: Want to whip out a list?

Danielle: right? I'm like, What to say on air. I think, one of the bigger disappointments is just how much, how much of a roadblock has been placed in front of women, specifically Black women to prevent us from succeeding even before we knew that we could succeed. Oh damn. It's the system. It's dismantling the system. I think that's the biggest disappointment to me, is how many people, how many cultures, how many systems played a part in dismantling this beautiful infrastructure of Black women.

Danielle: And I think that that is something that I'm learning quickly from. . It's also very empowering and very educating for me too, to learn more about not only myself, but how many other women in the world are struggling with that same plateau. And I think it's also very encouraging that we're all coming together in this way. We don't know each other's sister's best friend's, dog's name , but we know that we can actually come together and unite for a united and very strong, profitable cause. So I really love the fact that. Through that disappointment. I can build more bridges. Yeah. I can create more resources for other women who are just starting in their journey.

Nina: You are officially the most optimistic teddy bear ever, because like you turned that around. It's like, it's all, but in reality it's really this awesome thing, I, I like what you said resonated with me and I think for me, the biggest disappointment in terms of starting my entrepreneurial journey for me has been, I think I was naive enough to think that everybody would be happy for.

I was naive enough  to think that everybody would be like, high five, Nina, you go get it. People, it is that I've known, before people it is that I trusted, I really, really thought that everybody would just be like, yeah, you know, this is something it is that you're doing and, and to  my ultimate disappointment, that has not been the case and it's, it's really been from the most surprising of places where I've seen that lack of support and you know, so that, that has been it for me. But to, to your point as well, I'm taking it as a learning point and trying to figure out how we can grow from it and how we can push, and it's not the majority of the case. And so you have to really be thankful for the people who really are supporting you. Okay.

Onto my, maybe last question is, what is the dream now, now that you have conquered pretty much everything from Chai to, you know, Italian food, to cosplay, to live MMA, which we didn't even get to. What is, what's next? What's next for Danielle? What's next for Octane? 

Tell me. 

Danielle: Oh my goodness. Uh, more women. I mean, that's really the agenda.

Yeah. Yeah. That's always been the agenda. I, I kind of get, you know, occasionally we get frowned upon with that old good old affirmative action. You know, you add, add one, dude, you make it in this and it's okay. And I'm like, women because women. So that's, that's the answer for everything is more women. I want more women on the team.

I want more women to be able to pass on, pass on their own batons. I wanna build up more women businesses so they can create the generational wealth they should have. That was really, you know, something that they should have been wanting or sustaining for themselves from the get-go due to an unmatched and really crappy system.

I wanna make sure there's more women that feel empowered to do more of what they want to do. I want women to feel unstuck.  I would love to have more women join in this kind of rally of yes we can. And I love the fact that every day I can get the opportunity to educate, empower, and uplift someone who may not have the courage, or the confidence to do it for themselves.

So that is my agenda. My agenda is always women. It is always community. And it's a little bit of technology too. 

Nina: Yeah, of  course. That's so, that's so powerful, and I love the way in which it is. You've, you've articulated it, right? It's, we are coming together to build this for us. We are empowering each other and we're building each other up.

We're pushing each other up, and, and that has to be it, right? We're not going to wait for somebody else to come along and decide to change a policy to make things easier or better for us, or fair even. , we're just gonna have to take it, right? We're gonna have to set our own table and we're gonna have to take it.

So I'm about that energy. This is better than green juice energy. I'm about it. Danielle, all that's been absolutely awesome. It's been fantastic having this conversation with you. It's much better than stalking you online. You see, you just have to give in and everything's okay.

So I usually end with a little bit of encouragement because the Lord knows I need it. but I'm gonna give this one to you in my generosity. What is your bit of encouragement to the Every Shade listeners and all the people out there? What's your bit of encouragement for folks today? 

Danielle: Oh, it's gonna be game themed.

Life is more like Tetris and less like Mario

Nina: You're gonna have to text me the description  so I can share it with people. Okay, y'all, until next time. It's. Every shade, 

I’m beautiful I’m black